Bedtime Update


I think about my blog on most days but, as you can see from the 3 month+ gap, I don’t do anything about it. Things feel like both too much and too little at the same time, mixed up. I think about how when I started this blog I had such a specific focus, and now my focus seems more vague. There are a lot of reasons.

I’ve been struggling with going to sleep lately. My anxiety has been kicking in again, in the sorts of ways I always used to hear my friends talk about but never personally experience myself. I was always really good at sleep, even when things were not great. Maybe that fades when you get older, who knows. I have a schedule that allows for this, and I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I wonder sometimes if the indulgence makes it worse.

Still, I decided maybe I would try something new. I thought maybe I would try writing some before bed, maybe it would relax me. Two birds? Who knows.

I guess tonight I will just do a generalized update on my life and then perhaps I’ll do something more organized tomorrow.

The first grad school application is almost complete. I only need to edit another 500 words, scan in some paperwork, and pay them $85 for the privilege of applying to their organization. Then… there will be one more, but you know. Progress.

I quit my second job. It wasn’t working for me in a lot of ways and it wasn’t paying nearly enough to be worth the stress it was causing. I feel good about the decision, although money would certainly be nice. My current job at the shelter is going well. We haven’t had a lot of kids lately but these things ebb and flow, and there are some possibilities for different and additional work for me coming up that I’m pretty excited about. I really do love my job.

I’ve spent the last few months watching at least one movie every day, which has been a pretty sedate pace for me, but which has made me feel accomplished. I think my record for films in a year is around 440 and I won’t beat that, but I am over 400. It’s been a good year for movies.

Christmas came and went fairly uneventfully for me. We had our Roomie Christmas, which I think went well. This year was the 11th year we’ve done it, which is hard to imagine. It was really good to see everyone. We ordered take-out instead of making a big meal and I think it was the best possible decision. I got some pretty wonderful presents. Christmas Eve I spent with a friend. There was great food (bacon-wrapped pork, which was… as delicious as it sounds), drinking, and festive Muppets, so I would call it a success. I spent the night and then headed home in the afternoon for work. There were no kids so it was just a few hours, but at least it was double time?

David and the Superhero have been running around like decapitated chickens for the whole holiday season doing family things. I think I am feeling adrift and disconnected by how crazy everything has been, and I’m looking forward to resuming our pretty predictable pace soon. I am a puppy of habit above all.

That’s about all I’ve got for now. I have many thoughts on the new year and the election and trauma and all kinds of things. I’ll experiment and see how this goes. Maybe you’ll hear from me tomorrow, or maybe it’ll be another 3 months. Life is full of mysteries.



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