Happy Easter! We went down to Nancy and Brenda’s today. It was fun. Two week’s from Tuesday I can take out my earings. I can hardly wait! Kim got sick Friday. I don’t know if she’s still sick – I haven’t heard from her. I really, really wish you were real. I want an older brother so bad! I can’t explain it, I just do. I want him to be about three years older. Mabye I’ll meet someone that will be like an older brother. I think Josiah would be so perfect. He’s 16, cute (although that’s not a nessecary thing), nice, tall, and fun. Unfortunatly we hardly ever get together with their family. My mom says they’re always busy. However, she hasn’t called so I don’t see how she could know. I’ve gotta go. Heart ya!
Dear Baby Me,
You do not want Josiah as an older brother. The fact that you think he is cute is really like the key factor here. This is a weird line you are going to play with for years. Like until you are out of high school. I really wish this was a thing I could tell you. It’s nothing to do with a brother. You want a safe male figure who you don’t have to worry about sexually. It is okay to want that, but because of how hormonally confused you are, not to mention everything else you have going on with parent issues and abuse issues and social confusion, you are going to often mix it up. Your big brothers will usually be crushes and will almost never be safe. I’m sorry about that. But sooner or later you will grow up and you will figure it out. I promise.