Sometimes I hate my mom. It seems like she’s always trying to make me or my friends out to be liars. Like today for instance. I was saying how Kim’s going to chew my head off cause I’m grounded and mom said mabye I should hang up on her. Then I was saying that if I was a leader like Kim then we wouldn’t be friends. That we’d be to much alike. I told mom she was popular in Sunday-school and mom made it sound like she’d out and lied when she told me that! She’s like that all the time! It drives me nuts! Now that I’ve got that off my chest I can talk about other things. Julie Swanson got married yesterday. Now she’s Julie Henry. The Vetvicks came back for the wedding so they were in church this morning. Brent is still cute. Mom’s giving me the lecture on walking out of the room without finishing a conversation and giving in to Kim on everything. Lectures over, so continuing on with church stuff.
I looked at Jeff A. all during church this morning. He’s really cute. The great thing is that he looks at me back! I think he just might like me, which is cool since he’s in 10th grade and I’m only in 7th. He tells his friends I look at him though, I know he does. I’ve seen him whispering to his friends while he’s looking at me, and then they look at me and laugh. I don’t care though. I would care if Jeff ever found the things I write about him in church. That would definetly be bad. He’s 16, so I’m sure he already has an ego problem without reading ‘Jeff A. is cute’ in other words without thinking every girl in the church thinks he’s cute. Which seeings as he’s 16 is probably the conclusion he’d come to (No offence intended toward boys of course, but sometimes they can be really stupid). I think I’ve run out of things to say. Heart ya!
P.S. We just watched Robin of Locksley. It was cool!
Dear Baby Me,
Ohhhhhh, we’re starting in on the long things here. This will start happening more frequently. So let’s see.
1) Your mom is not… wrong about Kim (or probably about a lot of your friends right now) for certain definitions of the word. She has a remarkable amount of intuition about people, but only for their worst traits. She is trying to protect you but she is doing a terrible job at it. Your loyalty towards these friends is misguided, but it is not a bad trait.
2) Kim is awful. Like not because she’s a terrible human necessarily, but because she is fucked up. She bullies you and makes you feel bad and you don’t know how to do anything different. That sucks and I wish someone was around to tell you that in a way you’d hear. Your mom is not that person.
3) It is hilarious to me that you are writing AS your mom is lecturing you that she is lecturing you.
4) Jeff does not like you and it is arguably a little creepy that you looked at him all morning. You will only ever have like two conversations with him. Also he was not that cute. But this is a super important note, because eventually you are going to start to lie about him like crazy, both in real life and in your journal. So… that’s a thing. Mostly it is fascinating to me that you think it is likely or even probable that a 10th grade boy would have any interest in a 7th grader. Especially one as nerdy as you right now. Like you have an amazing amount of self-confidence for no special reason I can determine.
5) It is weird that you talk about Jeff, and boys in general, being so stupid while being so interested in them. Just the basic gender assumptions, I suppose?
6) You will watch Robin of Locksley SO MANY TIMES. For those who may not know, it is a modern day Robin Hood starring Devon Sawa and Sarah Chalke. Seriously. So many times. Not enough that I could quote any of it from memory off the top of my head now, but I bet if I were to watch it right now, I’d remember at least huge parts of it. So that’s nice. I guess.
Anyway. This is the first of what will eventually be many long entries and I will have to work on how best to break them up. But those are some things I thought.