I totally did write a blog entry for Wednesday but I was dissatisfied by it. I think I could write something better about the same topic but not this week. I’m tired, it’s the first week of school, I already feel like I have a lot of homework to fit in between 20+ hours of work.. whatever. I may see about going back down to two a week. We’ll see how things go.
Today though I want to write about something exciting. I came home from work and there was an envelope on my couch that said Welcome to (insert college here)! That’s not quite as exciting as it sounds. The college I applied to was a small college that is part of a large college. In order to go where I need to, I have to be accepted by both schools. This was the acceptance letter from the large school. So it’s like… half of the excitement.
Totally exciting though. This is the first time in my life I have ever applied for something other than a job and gotten it. I’ve been having a lot of strange feelings about the whole experience. Every time I express my anxieties to friends or acquaintances, the response is almost identical. They shake their head and say “well, obviously you’ll get in.” I appreciate the support, I do. But it also makes me feel almost more pressure in some ways. What if I don’t? Would everyone be so disappointed in me? Everyone seems so sure, what if they’re wrong? Just an example of how I turn nice things into neurotic things, I suppose.
That said, this makes me feel hopeful. Maybe I do not fail at all the things. Maybe I am a desirable student and schools will want me and stuff. I still feel that my future is somewhat blurry but it seems to be rushing up more quickly than I would have expected. Maybe in a couple years I’ll be making actual money. What a strange thought.