Dear Baby Me: April 12 & 13, 1995

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Dear Journal,
Gym night was really fun. When we came in they were playing floor hockey. We started playing and I got hit with the puck 5 times, all of them in one leg or another. One of them bounced off my leg and went into our goal! It was really embarrassing. Then we played soccer. I found out I’m pretty bad at soccer. Then we played a game, I’m not sure what it was called, but it was really fun! I don’twant to give details right now. Maybe some other time.
Love Meg
P.S. Randies going to babysit us Friday. I’m soo excited! 

Dear Journal,
I’ve decided not to write in cursive anymore. I’ts to much of a pain. I’m really excited about Randie coming, she’s really cool. I colored a picture for her and I was going to give it to her at church last Sunday but she wasn’t there. I’ll give it to her when she comes tommorrow. I’m going to tell you how to play that game I told you about last night. First you line up a lot of balls in the center. Then when the guy says go you run to the middle, grab a ball and try to hit people on the other team, while they try to hit you. If you get hit or one of them gets hit your out or if they get hit they’re out. If you catch a ball and somebody’s out they get to come back in. There’s a certain ball (it looks like Pac-man took a  bite out of it) and if you catch it everybody thats out on your team gets to come back in. There were some interesting things that happened during that game. Number one, once I was out there all by myself! Everybody was out except for me, these two older boys on my team kept yelling at me “catch a ball”, I had to fight down a strong urge to keep from telling them to shut up. Number two this really mean kid threw a ball at me and it bent back my little finger! That hurt! Then he threw two balls at me and hit me twice on the arm! That was about all though. I did have a good time and I really hope I can go again next Tuesday.
Love Meg

Dear Baby Me,

I decided to include both of these entries so we could experience the fun of having you obliquely mention dodgeball and then try to explain it in more detail the next day. I guess an odd side effect of not going to school is not knowing what things like dodgeball are.

I think it is fascinating that you seem to have enjoyed this experience. I kind-of remember this night, although not super fondly. I feel it is important to point out the very valuable lessons you clearly should have taken away from this experience. Really the most important lesson is that you are bad at sports. Really, really bad at sports. I am going to tell you right now that this will never improve. Mostly because you don’t like sports. You have zero competitive instinct, you’re fairly clumsy and you just don’t really see the point. I suspect what you enjoyed most about this particular experience was the number of boys whose attention you had in one capacity or another, even if it wasn’t exactly totally positive. That also won’t change for a really long time. I think a second thing we can note is that it is super adorable that you had to “fight down a strong urge to keep from telling them to shut up.” I always forget how things like shut up are bad words when you’re a kid.

Mostly though, reading entries like this makes me super squirmy because I have this general concept of just how awkward you were. I think you were having a good time and I think you really didn’t realize that you were pretty nerdy and terrible at this and other people were kind-of annoyed with you and it’s just very sad to me to think how incredibly dorky you were and how totally oblivious to your status you were, which is way worse than being dorky to begin with. Anyway. I don’t think dodgeball is a thing in your future again. Probably for the best.

Love, Me.

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